You Will Not Be Forgotten

I have a couple of blogs backed up. Weddings and trips and fun stuff like that. That will have to wait until I feel more like posting fun stuff. My father-in-law passed away Sunday, the funeral was yesterday and I'm still in a fog.  I have known Bobby for almost 40 years and have been a part of the family for over 31. We had a lot in common, we both liked crafting, junking, traveling, gardening and food. We also loved the same people. 

He hasn't been in great health the past couple of years, although I wouldn't have predicted his passing so soon. I guess no one ever does, huh?  On paper it looked plausible: 81 y.o. man who suffered a massive heart attack at 48, had 2 bypass surgeries and CHF. In reality, though, it's never expected. When he went in the last time, the doctors said that there was nothing left to do, that he was just "worn out" and to consider hospice. Because of his wife's work schedule and the fact that he lived so far out, the decision was made to move him to our house for hospice care. It could be 6 months we were told and we expected to have it. We moved out furniture and moved in a hospital bed and medical equipment. He never made it here.  We spent the last 10 days in a hospice unit at the hospital, taking turns sitting with him, feeding him his favorite foods until he stopped eating and taking care of each other.

I haven't spent that much time with Kenny's family since his mom died nearly 20 years ago. The dark cloud of watching a loved one die sometimes broke with the light of stories from the past and reconnecting. Watching teenage granddaughters and great granddaughters hold their PawPaw's hand and whisper things in his ear just about killed me. Seeing grandsons break down when they walked into the room made me break down, too. We went through lots of pictures and talked and talked. In the end he was surrounded by the people who loved him.

This is the only picture we have of Helena with her great grandfather, taken about 24 hours before he died. Meg and Eddie drove up late Friday night so Eddie could see him one last time. Meg wanted a picture since she didn't have one of them together. I'm so glad we did it, I love it for so many reasons.

In the midst of all this sadness, there were some lighter moments and I learned a few things.

• Apparently "Wind Beneath My Wings" could make my son cry even if it played on a Sonic commercial.
• Diet Coke brought to you grave side by a friend is better than a casserole.
• Medical equipment makes your house smell like an old person (according to Meg).
• The absolute worst time for your car to break down is on your way to your father's funeral and you have to leave your daughter and grandkids on the side of the road waiting for another ride because there isn't enough room for them in the car that came to rescue you. And now they're late to the funeral.
• My church family is closer to me than some of my "real" family and my "church" family isn't the people I go to church with.
• There is nothing better than funeral food. Nothing. My kids will fight for the last green bean bundle.
• There is never a bad time for a ham biscuit that was stashed in Mamie's purse.

I'm sure this video won't mean a lot to most of you, but it felt good making it. Bobby, Paw Paw, Dad...you will not be forgotten.